February is hard for me in a normal year. The thrill of Christmas has faded fast and the warmth of Spring feels miles away. And with the continuing fear and aftermath of the most strange, paused, insane year any of us have lived through, the weight of the world is heavy. The snow piles up as temperatures drop and my heart feels like its lying underneath the white blanket outside my window. Heart-shaped stories and recipes fill the newsfeed and I try to count my many blessings. Love surrounds me in so many ways but the grieving of so much change and loss of the past year yearns to overtake. Fear of what-ifs and an uncertain future of change weigh heavy. All of life's normal worries feel amplified. Vast arrays of emotions, I didn't even know existed, swell up almost swallowing me whole. I try to catch my breath, realign, ground myself stable and realize how utterly helplessly incapable I am. And when all of these worries come crashing down heavy with no place in my being able to uphold, the only place to drop them is at the feet of the only One who has the strength to carry such weight.
"Casting all your cares [all your anxiety, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]." 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)
Relief washes over me as I am reminded how much my God loves me. He carefully watches over me with the deepest, most perfect affection. This unfailing, always prevailing love captures my heart and conquers my fears. An unexplainable peace washes through my whole being and I can't help but bow in gratitude as this calming sense of contentment begins to reside and replace my anxious thoughts.
This world and all of it's brokenness will never fulfill my hollow heart because it's simply incapable to do so. But when I look upward, I am reminded of the only true love in this life. He proclaims His everlasting love, desiring to gather all of us up under His wings close to His heart where we will find refuge and protection from all of life's storms. And truly that is the best Valentine I could ever receive.
"Let the morning bring me word of your UNFAILING LOVE, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way to go, for to you I entrust my life." Psalm 143:8
